How Anticipation Blocks the Present
I'm a planner and a thinker, sometimes to a fault. In approaching a decision or conflict, my mind quickly plays out all the possible scenarios ahead to try and find the smoothest path forward. When things are calm, I find myself ruminating on what lies ahead and how I'll handle upcoming situations.
In the words of my therapist, anticipation is my superpower. And while this can be a strength, sometimes it gets in the way of me enjoying life.
It gets in the way when I anticipate what someone is going to say in a conversation, and therefore I am not fully present as a listener. Or when I anticipate challenges in a friendship or job down the road, and try to find solutions to problems that haven't happened yet.
When I teach yoga, I often I speak about being present in the moment; the yogic concept of living life with a clear vision of every situation, of knowing what is true. Of whole, perfect awareness, followed by right action.
I've come to recognize that anticipation, even when well intentioned, blocks that awareness. It leads us – or me – to create stories and expectations about the future, and then react to those stories. And in doing so, we act on thoughts, feelings, or conditions that have not yet occurred.
I see this show up in my practice and in the practice of my students.
When sequences and poses become familiar, it's tempting to anticipate each part before it happens. When we do this, we lose our connection to the moment.
I can't tell you how many times I've been in a yoga class and stepped my right foot forward between my hands, only to realize that the rest of the class is still exploring 3-legged-dog. And how many times I've had to quickly reset and try to catch up to what the teacher is actually saying.
Anticipation is sneaky, and it's habitual. The more I recognize anticipation in my practice, the more I see it in my life outside the mat. This week (and for much longer, I expect) I'm working to notice my own anticipation habit, acknowledge it, and then remind myself to be present.
Because no matter how much we anticipate what's coming, we can't speed up time.
It's been humbling and wonderful to recognize how often I anticipate. How often there is time to be present, yet I'm rushing into the next moment. And to see the beauty of watching one moment slide into the next.
What's one way that you anticipate? How can you remind yourself to be in the now?